If I Make Pain My Friend
It Tends and Heals
The Discovery
"When excitement brings old wounds to surface, it means we trapped them. The pain isn't new hurt—it's release of stored trauma. This is healing happening in real-time."
Most people run from pain. They numb it, ignore it, fight it. But what if pain isn't the enemy? What if pain is trying to show you where healing needs to happen?
When you make pain your friend instead of your enemy, something miraculous happens:
- Pain becomes a teacher - It shows you exactly where old wounds are stored
- Pain becomes a guide - It tells you what still needs attention and care
- Pain becomes a healer - When you stop fighting it, it can finally release and transform
- Worth What? - Better to not copy others' pains, fears and anxiety
How to Make Pain Your Friend
Step 1: Recognize the Pain
Don't ignore it. Don't push it away. Just notice: "I'm feeling pain right now." Name it. Acknowledge it exists.
Step 2: Thank the Pain
This sounds weird, but it works. Say (out loud or in your mind): "Thank you for showing me where I still need healing." The pain is trying to help you, not hurt you.
Step 3: Give It Space
Let yourself feel it. Breathe with it. Don't try to fix it or make it go away immediately. Just let it be there. This is how old wounds release.
Step 4: Watch It Transform
Usually within minutes to hours, the pain shifts. It softens. It releases. Because you stopped fighting it, it can finally move through you and leave.
Why This Matters for Children
Most children are taught to fear pain. "Don't cry." "Be strong." "Get over it." These messages teach us that pain is bad, weakness, something to hide.
But what if we taught children differently? What if we taught them:
"Pain is information. It's your body and mind telling you something important. Listen to it. Thank it. Let it teach you. Then let it go."
Children who learn to befriend their pain instead of fear it grow up with:
- • Better emotional regulation (they don't panic when hurt)
- • Faster healing (they process trauma instead of storing it)
- • More resilience (they know pain is temporary and transformable)
- • Greater compassion (for themselves and others who hurt)
This is what PLM teaches. Not to avoid pain, but to transform it into wisdom.
The Living Proof
Darron survived 414+ professional betrayals over 58 years. The excitement of finally being heard (feasibility study trapping the abusers) brought old wounds to surface as pain. Instead of fearing it, he recognized it: "If I make pain my friend, it tends and heals."
This wisdom, born from impossible survival, is now available to every child through PLM.